The Land of the Flea
by The Werewolf Mage
Summary: There's an outbreak of fleas in the boys' dorm. But who's to blame: Sirius, Remus, or that vermin, Peter?


Title: The Land of the Flea

Summary: There's an outbreak of fleas in the boys' dorm. But who's to blame: Sirius, Remus, or that vermin, Peter?

It was about one-thirty in the morning, and all four of the Marauders were asleep. Peter was snoring lightly, Sirius was mumbling to himself, Remus was sleeping fitfully, but heavily as well. And James was out, entirely. Nothing would wake him up, it seemed.

Until, "BLOODY HELL, SOMETHING BIT ME!"

"Wha's going on?" Sirius muttered sleepily. "You been biting people in your sleep again, Wormtail?"

"I only did that once!" Peter argued.

"No, it's a bug." James said, hopping out of his bed and pulling his blankets off the bed. "Actually," he added nervously, "it's a lot of bugs."

"They're just fleas." Remus said with a yawn as he rolled back over and attempted to go to sleep. With all the noise James was making over the tiny bugs, it would prove hard.

"Which one of you brought them in?" James demanded, scratching and trying not to jump out of his pajamas.

"Us?" Sirius demanded, beginning to scratch as well. "You could have brought them in as well!"

"Stags don't get fleas." James replied haughtily.

"Yes, they do! Anything with fur can get fleas!"

"You're the most likely to have them!" James pointed out. "It was probably you!"

"Well, what about Peter?" Sirius demanded with a glare at Peter, who was sitting on the edge of his bed, looking from Sirius to James as though he were watching a tennis volley. "He could have just as easily brought them in, crawling in the garbage and doing other rodent type things!"

"Don't look at me!" Peter said hastily. Giving James an apologetic look, he added with a stammer, "Be-besides, why are they in your bed, if-if Sirius or I brought them in?"

"Because I'm devilishly attractive." James laughed. Then he adopted a serious tone once more and said, "This is not the time to be joking! I don't know why they're in my bed! But I know I didn't bring them in!"

"Well, what about Remus, then? He could have brought them in, too!"

"If Remus brought them in last night," James pointed out, "then the Hospital Wing would be full of them, too. Why are you so desperate the cast the blame on someone else, Padfoot?"

"Because I know I didn't bring them in, either!" Sirius snapped, now scratching wildly. Finding his human form no good to scratch fleas, he quickly changed into the shaggy black dog and began scratching.

With a tiny groan, Remus glanced at James and Peter, who had also began scratching, and asked, "Why not just go sleep in the Common Room if they're bothering you?"

"Why aren't they bothering you?" James asked, ending with a whine.

Remus didn't answer. Instead, he burrowed further under his blankets, which he had tightly wrapped around himself so the fleas could not find their way into his blankets to bite him. He got enough of that during the full moon.

"Remus, make them go away!" Peter said, also whining. He figured Sirius had the right idea, and quickly transformed into the rat and began scratching and biting his own fleas.

"Just Vanish them outside the castle." came Remus's muffled reply. "They're not my problem, now are they?"

James shot a glare at the pile of blankets that was Moony before snatching his wand off the bedside table and, with a swish, ceased his scratching. As did Peter and Sirius, both returning to their human state almost immediately.

"See? No more fleas." Remus yawned. Then, with a glare that meant he knew James had not sent the fleas out of the castle, asked, "Where did you send them?"

The answer came in the form of four feminine shrieks coming from the other side of the tower.

"You didn't..."

With a sheepish grin, James said, "I have bad aim at night. 'Outside of the castle' I guess becomes 'inside the girls' dorm.'" Still grinning, he flopped on his now flea-free bed and said, "Good night."

"Sleep tight." Sirius said, trying to stifle his laughter. He knew full well that it wouldn't take long for the girls to realize one of them had sent the fleas to their dorm. But they probably wouldn't bother them until morning.

"Don't let the bed bugs bite." Peter finished, curling up under his blankets and falling asleep a second later.

"They already did!"


End file.
